Did My Brain Fall Out?

Haven't we all asked ourselves this question? There are days I am quite sure my brain did fall out - I can barely put one foot in front of the other and I forget everything. I know you can relate!

Wednesday, July 25, 2012

"She. Called. Me. A. (whisper) Bitch!"

As all parents know, kids have meltdowns. As parents of autistic kids know, there are no words to describe what our kids' meltdowns look like. Ahhh...It makes me break out in a cold, clammy sweat just thinking about it.

C1 is the queen of meltdowns. How long do her meltdowns last, you ask? OOohhh. That's part of the fun and mystery of them. 30 minutes? 60 minutes? 2 Hours? All day? 

Yes. Just yes. 

A few weeks ago she had been in a complete funk. She had graduated high school, and being the great mom that I am, I didn't have a clear plan laid our for her for the summer, or even for her future. All of this anxiety had to lead to a few really bad meltdowns - like the day she SPIT at me! She is certainly lucky that we were in the parking lot at school during dismissal. With all of my teacher and administrator friends walking to their cars. And other parents there, too. Yeah. She really was lucky that day. 

C1's meltdowns can consist of many things, but usually the "I WILL PUNISH MYSELF HARSHLY" meltdown wins out. Have you witnessed this one? It's a doozy and really really hard to respond to. It looks like this: 

 Something sets her off. Maybe C2 is sitting in her "spot" on the couch. Or I asked her to put her shoes away. Or dad told her to brush her teeth. {sigh}. These things (together or separately) will send her into a tailspin. She screams. Yells. Slams her door. Before we know it, all of her favorite items come flying down the stairs. Sonic the Hedgehog. All of her chipmunks. (Hang on, these are stuffed animals, not living things!). Then she comes down the stairs and gives us her cellphone (that she never uses anyway) and her iPod. Her purse. 

Basically, she punishes herself. So. What do we do? Is her consequence us forcing her to take all of her stuff back? This is a conundrum we have never quite figured out. 

Anyway. This background leads me to the anecdote for the day. C1 has a community support worker, KSmooth, who comes twice a week to take her out, work with her socially and be nice to her. Sometimes, C1 makes it hard to be nice to her. C1 knows this. In fact KSmooth and C1 go to therapy together. Honestly. This is a true story. 

Well a few weeks ago, KSmooth was here and C1 was in RARE form - Tasmanian devil level - and God Bless KSmooth, she tried everything, but C1 just increased her level of torture. I sent C1 to her room, sat KSmooth on the couch with a book and a cool drink, with strict instructions for KSmooth to sit tight and leave C1 alone, and left to pick up C2 from camp, 

When I got back, I called C1 downstairs. She refused to apologize, had no remorse, so back to her room she went. KSmooth wanted to talk to C1. I told her that she was entering at her own risk. I would spot the bottom of the stairs in case she met the same fate as Sonic. 

I am sitting and listening. I can hear C1; she's loudly yelling for KSmooth to "get out," "go away," "get the hell out of my room," (I don't know where this kid gets her mouth ;). I can't make out what KSmooth is saying, but all of a sudden it gets quiet. KSmooth comes back down the stairs on her own power, thank God, gives me the run-down of what she told C1 and leaves. 

About an hour later C1 comes down the stairs, sniffling, and, in a whisper, announces to us that KSmooth called her a bitch and told her to knock off the bullshit. Do not gasp, or call for the firing of our precious KSMooth. 

WE WERE DYING LAUGHING! This is what got through to her. I LOVE KSMOOTH. We want her to live with us. 

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  1. Haha!!!!! that was the best one yet!!! Sooo funny....

    1. Thank you Tammy! We laughed really hard, which is probably mean. But it was FUNNY!

  2. Awesome. Sometimes, just sometimes, the truth works. ;)

    1. Yes, the truth works, especially when it doesn't come from your mom. When it comes from your mom, then she's just mean

  3. I want to say "Way to go KSmooth". Because there have been times I would have loved to say it to my girls. I'm sure it wouldn't have had the same effect though.

    1. YES! Definitely wouldn't have had the same punch if I had said it - and I would have felt horribly guilty. KSmooth kept me guilt free!